Friday, November 1, 2013

Fuck Michigan

As the the 23rd ranked Wolverines travel to East Lansing to take on the 24th ranked Spartans, look for U of M fans across the state to bathe, log off of their neighbor's Wi-Fi, and leave their mothers' basements in an attempt to invade Spartan Stadium.

Okay, maybe I was a little too optimistic about the whole "bathing" thing.

In order to keep all of the Michigan trolls out, we may even need the "Spartan Guard" to set up on the outskirts of campus along "Troll"Bridge Road to see if those seeking to enter are worthy to do so by correctly answering the following question:

 - What are the two things you get from Ann Arbor?
1. Year after year the most overrated football team in America;
2. Ugly chicks. 
This U of M girl is: a) drunk, b) sad, c) Corky's sister, d) all of the above.

For some reason, Michigan still has America convinced that they are a football power even though Michigan State has long since passed them as the better program.

Not only have the Spartans boasted better talent, coach and now facilities (aside from the Big House itself) than the Wolverines in the Mark Dantonio/Mark Hollis era, but as winners of four of the last five games in the rivalry, they've had the better results to back it up.

Of course, the arrogant folks down in Ann Arbor refuse to even acknowledge Michigan State as one of their rivals...But then again, the team on the ass-end of things doesn't exactly get to choose who their rivals are.

Chad Earl Atcheson:
 It doesn't take a kinesiology major to figure out which one of these right wing Michigan Militia members actually attended U of M...The correct answer is, "none of them."

In fact, even if Mike Hart and Fitz Toussaint are correct in their belief that MSU is U of M's "Little Brother," at some point every "Big Brother" eventually comes to the realization that "Little Brother" grew up to become bigger, stronger and more personable than his older sibling.

Hot Michigan State chicks: And to top things off, "Little Brother" wound up with the better looking girlfriend.

Don't look for things to change come Saturday. Michigan State has the best defense in the nation, and should be able to shut down the Wolverines' running game and make them a one dimensional passing team.

And if that holds true, look for the Spartans to come out on top 23-13, sending the corn and blue fans back to South Gate or wherever the hell it is that their mom lives, so they can resume trolling Michigan State boards in anonymity while praying that the ghost of Ed Martin comes back and buys them another winner.

Fuck Michigan

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